Couples Therapy

Couples counseling therapy is often thought of as a means of improving communication between partners. But it involves much more.  Successful couples and relationship therapy identifies patterns that create a distance between two people and, while correcting them, further illuminates the reason such patterns exist to begin with.  It also examines the “baggage” each person brought to the relationship that may be relieved with one another.  Of course, no one is well traveled without baggage!

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Each partner is helped to be genuine with one another, both in and out of session.  They are also be helped to develop a deeper, richer understanding of one another and their relationship and be more mindful of their mutual needs, concerns and desires.

Couples therapy invites the unspoken to be spoken, and that is not always easy.  However, the session offers a setting where this can occur with the intent of re-framing such expressions in a language that both partners can hear and respond in kind.

The Role of the Therapist in Couples Counseling

A couples therapist is often asked to substantiate the arguments of one of the partners, as if the purpose of attending was to confirm some fault or faults of one partner.  This would not be couples “therapy”, it would not necessarily foster communication, but, more likely, resentment on the part of one partner or the other.  The role of the therapist is, instead, to help each partner present their objections or concerns in a manner that the other can hear, whether or not they agree.  From there, a dialogue and process can happen:  one that will hopefully continue beyond the sessions.

Couples do not always engage in therapy to become closer and happier.  Sometimes one or both individuals feels that the relationship is not working for them and that they wish to end it.  Such use of couples therapy is preferred to acting out behaviors, such as an affair, constant arguments, or maintaining a painful distance from one another.  Couples therapy provides an environment where such feeling might be better expressed.  It also allows the partner to respond, with the aid and support of the therapist, under what might be a very difficult circumstance.

 

“Courage is embracing the prospects of being expansive, to reconsider our positions,

to choose another way of being that allows for the authentic participation of both ourselves and others.”

Peter C. Turco

 

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