One of the most destructive emotions in a relationship, in the workplace, or a public setting is out-of-control anger. Unfortunately, many have trouble managing this emotion. Learning to control your temper at work can be the best thing you can do if you want to stay in your relationship, in your job, and out of trouble.
Anger, however, is an emotion that we are all entitled to. anger management aims to convert one’s anger into a reasonable and engaging expression toward others. This is the absence of threats, explosive bouts, or shouting. Ironically, the quieter we express our anger, the greater the likelihood we will be heard and understood.
But what are ways of being effective without being forceful? Learning to express one’s anger in a more engaging manner, rather than one that frightens or punishes, makes room for the other person or persons to respond in kind and increase the potential for understanding and a resolution to the conflict.
Learning to speak calmly and from the perspective of how you feel is more effective and engaging than global, angry statements. Speaking softly can keep the conversation going. Shouting or violence invites a similar response and can escalate into fighting.
When a young child is angry at their parent, you might hear them shout “I hate you!” They might mean “I want ice cream and you’re making me take a nap,” but they may not have the ability to fully process and present their objection.
An adult has the ability to do so, however, sometimes it comes out as “I hate you!” or something else hurtful to someone else.
Alternatives to anger can mean better self-representation through a more acceptable presentation”. It can also mean taking a walk, going to the gym, or calling a friend when one is angry rather than engaging in hurtful, harmful behavior.